Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Im Still On This Journey
Ok so in 2011 I was successful at losing 60lbs. I got down to 170 from 230lbs by eating strictly and exercising like a crazy woman and I felt amazing for a while! YAY!!! Not really. Since I had one major goal in mind and that was to impress my husband when he got home from Afghanistan that was ALL that I did. I lost the weight I impressed him and then I tried to eat like I had it all under wraps. SOOOOO, this year I am doing 1 better, I am doing this for me. For my health and for my happiness. Not that I do not want to see him smile (because of course I do) but I need to do this one for me... So doing ths for me is much difficult because I am the one who lets me off the hook when I want my cookies, or I want my chocolate anything in general. I have got to do better than this. Anyways I am rediscovering my motivation and I have kicked it up a notch. I am going to school to become a Personal Fitness Trainer! YES I am doing something for me. I am getting trained on how to actually get fit and how to maintain it and now that I've started class I realize that I am getting 100% more than I expected. I am so happy. SO today I am 200 and something pounds again NO I havent been able to face the ugly scale so I am only doing it once per month and measuring with my pants. So my next weigh in in March 12th. Last time I was 208 and my goal is to be less LOL! I would hope to be 199 again and I know it is doable. I know that I will do it right this time.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Appreciation
I am trying to learn to appreciate my small victories on my weight loss journey. 1 moment I will step on the scale and notice a loss and be excited and full of gratitude and the next moment I will walk by a mirror and say to myself, you are still BIG!. So far since I began my journey I have lost 33 pounds. My second mini goal is 1 pound away! That is something that I am celebrating. I am very happy with my progress and I am very excited about the journey to come. I would love to embrace the moment a little bit longer when I see it that is my only desire. SO Today I embrace the moment and blow my own horn! I am 1 poiund away from my 2nd mini goal and I am proud of that. Motherhhod calls! Ciao!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Tuesday February 1, 2011
It is Tuesday Feb. 1st 2011 and I am doing fine. I thought about my goals today and looked up creating a vision board. Vision boards are somewhat like collages that contain your goals. I am all for that so now that I have researched, I am thinking about buying my goals and grabbing some magazines to get to work. The Bible says to write the vision and make it plain...I am going to do it this time. I have been on my life journey to accomplish the SAME things for the last 5 years. Obstacles have come in my way and instead of pressing through I let my life be redirected around the mountain. Around and around again and again... So this year I have decided that this year would be the beginning of the best years of my life and that is my "mantra". This year I am going to go to college, release the excess weight I've been carrying and make myself over. Life as a door mat is over for me. I am redefining what it means to be T. Angelique. I will never again allow myself to be an emotional trash can for everyone else, or a burden bearer. I must say that I am on the lookout for users and abusers. For a matter of fact I have excluded the entire world from my new way of life. This is a very delicate time and I refuse to be swayed by others opinions, comments, ideas etc.
I have begun my natural hair journey with research. I first pondered the idea in October of 2010 and since then I have meditated on it and researched how to actually maintain it. I am now fully equipped with knowledge to accomplish this goal. I have begun purchasing my organic "hair food" to create my own hair moisturizers and leave in conditioners. Instead of throwing off our finances, I've decided to purchase a little at a time. I have made my first coconut/shea butter concoction today and I am interested in seeing what the results are. I have a few more oils to stock in order to complete my hair care line. S/N: I also found a recipe for all natural deodorant and I have everything for it in my house but the fragrance! That means that you probably do to!
Another goal that I have is to release this weight that I have been carrying for the last 5 years. I began this terrible weight gaining experience when I got out of the Army because I needed to take care of my daughter. I didn't even know I was pregnant with my son, if I would've known I would've stayed in. I mean the benefits are far greater than the pitfalls- to me. Well I was depressed, I didn't know where I was going to stay or what I was going to do to maintain or current lifestyle so I took it out on my body. I ate and ate and ate pizza, soda, wings and chocolate until I went from 140lbs to 185lbs. Then I found out that I was pregnant and I allowed that to be an excuse for me to eat what I want how I want and at whatever quantity. I was so blinded that I didn't even realize how much weight I actually put on. At this time I was enrolled in college for the first time and that was going well. I was collecting my benefits and my benefits and they were paying the bills so we were doing fine, until...Until I went in to preterm labor at 24 weeks and the doctors couldn't stop it. I was devastated and this became the beginning of me dropping out of school and hanging out in a hospital for 4 months afraid of everyday that passed by worried about the health of my child. SO, I ATE, and ATE, and ATE and ATE until I was SO FAT that my cheeks looked like they would pop and I just couldn't get another bite in and I ended up with a gall bladder full of gall stones (which God miraculously healed) and below the ground self esteem. I thought that I was being punished, for what I don't know I was always being punished for something or at least that is how I perceived everything bad that happened in my life all of my life. SO! Anyways that is the background. I gained weight, I had 3 children, 1 who died from my doctor who I trusted neglecting the symptoms that I reported... (another story) I gained weight from emotional ups and downs and low self esteem and now, right now, I am ready to be released. So this year I will let go of all of the past hurts, all of the layers of negative affirmations, all of the unforgiveness which has begun and I am experiencing such freedom that the weight is falling off. I mean literally I have lost more than 50lbs and I am almost to my goal of being beneath 200lbs which I am going to celebrate with my spa day NOT CAKE, lol!
I also want to run a race, and restart college. Let me rephrase that I will be running a race and starting college in the fall. Ok, that's enough for now! I will be back soon! TTYL.
I have begun my natural hair journey with research. I first pondered the idea in October of 2010 and since then I have meditated on it and researched how to actually maintain it. I am now fully equipped with knowledge to accomplish this goal. I have begun purchasing my organic "hair food" to create my own hair moisturizers and leave in conditioners. Instead of throwing off our finances, I've decided to purchase a little at a time. I have made my first coconut/shea butter concoction today and I am interested in seeing what the results are. I have a few more oils to stock in order to complete my hair care line. S/N: I also found a recipe for all natural deodorant and I have everything for it in my house but the fragrance! That means that you probably do to!
Another goal that I have is to release this weight that I have been carrying for the last 5 years. I began this terrible weight gaining experience when I got out of the Army because I needed to take care of my daughter. I didn't even know I was pregnant with my son, if I would've known I would've stayed in. I mean the benefits are far greater than the pitfalls- to me. Well I was depressed, I didn't know where I was going to stay or what I was going to do to maintain or current lifestyle so I took it out on my body. I ate and ate and ate pizza, soda, wings and chocolate until I went from 140lbs to 185lbs. Then I found out that I was pregnant and I allowed that to be an excuse for me to eat what I want how I want and at whatever quantity. I was so blinded that I didn't even realize how much weight I actually put on. At this time I was enrolled in college for the first time and that was going well. I was collecting my benefits and my benefits and they were paying the bills so we were doing fine, until...Until I went in to preterm labor at 24 weeks and the doctors couldn't stop it. I was devastated and this became the beginning of me dropping out of school and hanging out in a hospital for 4 months afraid of everyday that passed by worried about the health of my child. SO, I ATE, and ATE, and ATE and ATE until I was SO FAT that my cheeks looked like they would pop and I just couldn't get another bite in and I ended up with a gall bladder full of gall stones (which God miraculously healed) and below the ground self esteem. I thought that I was being punished, for what I don't know I was always being punished for something or at least that is how I perceived everything bad that happened in my life all of my life. SO! Anyways that is the background. I gained weight, I had 3 children, 1 who died from my doctor who I trusted neglecting the symptoms that I reported... (another story) I gained weight from emotional ups and downs and low self esteem and now, right now, I am ready to be released. So this year I will let go of all of the past hurts, all of the layers of negative affirmations, all of the unforgiveness which has begun and I am experiencing such freedom that the weight is falling off. I mean literally I have lost more than 50lbs and I am almost to my goal of being beneath 200lbs which I am going to celebrate with my spa day NOT CAKE, lol!
I also want to run a race, and restart college. Let me rephrase that I will be running a race and starting college in the fall. Ok, that's enough for now! I will be back soon! TTYL.
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